One of my biggest lessons is learning how to put me aside.

I am thankful for my body and health; this amazing fully functional body allows me to create my own medicine, running, biking, hiking, dancing, etc. It extracts nutrition from the good food and gives minimal consequence from the bad food and alcohol I consume; It lets me hug and kiss those whose affection I cannot do without; and gives me the strength, both physical and emotional to continue living, learning, and loving. Such a beautiful body, inside and out.

Thanksgiving 2012, I wasn't feeling particularly thankful this day but very selfish. I struggled with being kind to some of those who are good and aid in the happiness of some that I love. I complained because the bountiful selections of food were lacking my favorite dishes, and that my plate was too small to hold all I wanted in just one trip, yet with a full belly was sitting in the midst of people whom I love. Not to mention the countless people I was ecstatic to see later and they me. I definitely lost track for a minute; I gave control to stresses that should have been left 300 miles away.

I may have a lot trials and am lacking the skills and finances to resolve them quickly, but I am not lacking love, experience, and health. I think we need to remind ourselves occasionally that we are responsible for ourselves and though it may be harder or easier for some, we ultimately choose our lives. I am SO thankful that I am responsible for myself and GET to make my own choices weather the effects be negative or positive. I am so very thankful as a woman that I have the rights I do and that I am no longer in fear of losing them.

I complain about so much but sometimes forget to be thankful for the opportunities afforded to me. I'm struggling as a single homeowner, but feel lucky to have the opportunity because I know so many will never have anything close. I've never felt so lonely in my life as when I come home to a bald spot on my roof with broken shingles on the ground, water coming from bathroom ceiling, the smell gas and feel cold air coming from my heater vents, and a bathtub full of water that still hadn't drained from two days before. As I sit on my stoop and cry because I'd reached my wits end, I got a call my Cass, "I'm terrified of heights but I'll help replace your roof." Then remembered the boys that came in a moment’s notice to replace my shingles, the neighbor who came to give me advice on my small construction project, a friend who replaced a part on my furnace though I knew how. My father who gave me $10,000 for a down-payment, and my mother who gave earnest money, because she was terrified that I would buy a different house. Lonely...?


When I am lonely, sad, happy, etc I have an amazing community to call on. I don't feel like I could ever ask for more than this; sometimes love really is all you need.


I have an incredible life with so much love that sometimes I can’t breathe.